Thursday, March 10, 2016

Fever Dream


Not sure if anyone is still here.  I lost this thing for a while.  Just found it.  It is always the last place you look right?

Since no one is reading, I can describe a crazy dream I woke up from this morning.

I was a movie producer and came up with the best possible idea for a movie.  It combines pop culture, nostalgia, an A-list movie star and a potential for star-studded cameos.

Conan The Barbarino

The cast of Welcome Back Kotter reunites and we add Arnold Schwarzenegger in full Conan garb as "Conan the Barbarino".  John Travolta can do a walk on and be all confused about why there is a new Barbarino.  Boom Boom Washington will get beheaded in the first 5 minutes in a hilarious mixup.

Mr. Kotter:  "What is best in life?"

Conan:  "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of Horshack"

When I woke up, I was fully erect (per usual) but this time I knew it was a result of Conan the Barbarino and John Travolta facing off in an epic sweaty man fight with swords and grunting and bad acting and hair pieces and Gabe Kaplan weeping.  And really, don't we all wake up that way sometimes?

Barbarino Prime (Travolta):  "Up your nose with a rubber hose!"  *swings a rubber hose at Conan*

Conan:  *impales Barbarino Prime on a huge sword*

Barbarino Prime:  "Off my case...toilet face..."  *dies*

I have to stop lacing my corn flakes with cocaine right before bed.

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