Thursday, June 11, 2009

Instant Messages to God

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz logged on at 2:00 AM
GodRulez logged on at 2:03 AM

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: God? U there?

GodRulez: Hey wazzup

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Wow U R like nevr online anymore!?!?!

GodRulez: LOL

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: LOL


FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: LOL LOL !!!1!1!

GodRulez: Whasup

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: I feel like you don’t care nemore

GodRulez: Thats cause I dont

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: I asked you for help wit my math test and I got a 43

GodRulez: Maybe u r just dumb

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: If I’m dumb then you made me that way

GodRulez: I didn’t make you dumb sucka

GodRulez: The only thing I make is money

GodRulez: All day long

GodRulez logged out at 2:10 AM

GodRulez logged on at 2:11 AM

GodRulez: Back

GodRulez: Don’t pizz me off, I’ll bust a lightning bolt up in your ass

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Well then if you didn’t make me who did

GodRulez: Your parents

GodRulez: Listen, all I did was make the earth some animals some plants and a couple of people. Everything that happened after that isn’t my fault

GodRulez: Do you honestly think I made Kanye West?

GodRulez: Gilbert Godfried?

GodRulez: Bobcat Goldthwait?

GodRulez: Madonna?

GodRulez: That aint my crap.

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: But the Bible says...

GodRulez logged out at 2:15 AM

GodRulez logged on at 2:22 AM

GodRulez: That’s the last time you piss me off. One more time Im up out.

GodRulez: I had nothing to do with the Bible. Some guys got together and wrote a book and tried to tell everyone that I said it and I was all like OMG, WTF?

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: You didn’t say that stuffs?!?!?!

GodRulez: Nope. I like gay people. I think you should be able to eat shrimp whenever you want. Marry your pet ferret, I don’t care. Why would I?

GodRulez: The guys who wrote it figured they could get all kinds of stuff past everyone and make a bunch of dumb rules if they said I said it because I wasn’t around to tell anyone that I didn’t say it because I def did not say it

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Totally confused…

GodRulez: And it happened so long ago that everyone kind of just takes it as the truth now. Like when you said you made out with Lisa Richards in 6th grade and now everyone believes it because you said it so long ago no one remembers if it really happened or not

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Why don’t you tell everyone now how you really feel?

GodRulez: Not worth it. I don’t want to make rules, I just want to see how everything plays out. Pretty interesting so far, gotta say

GodRulez: Im a lot older than people think. Yea, I made Dinosaurs, whats up? T-Rex woooot! And suck on some velociraptor while UR at it! I loved those suckas

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: UR acting weird

GodRulez: Just figured out how to make high powered weed. It. Is. Awe. Some.

GodRulez: starving to death up in here

GodRulez logged out at 2:37 AM

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: God?

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: God?

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Hello?

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: Helloooooooooooooooo

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz: fine b that way

FallOutBoyIzDaShiz logged out at 2:51 AM

GodRulez logged on at 3:12 AM

GodRulez: ok I just had a revelation

GodRulez: When you walk on the beach, you will see two sets of footprints because I am walking beside you. When you only see one set of footprints, run like hell cause I got all ate up by a shark and shit.

GodRulez: LOL


GodRulez: srsly u gotta try this weed it da diggity dope snap zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

GodRulez logged out at 3:14 AM

6 reaction(s)::

Anne said...

OMGs you are too much!! I just about fell out of my chair laughing. Excellent!!

Jenn said...

That is hilarious!

bex said...

Fab!! You got me giggling on a sad Friday morning.

Neumaisse said...

You so remind me of my best friend. FANTASTIC.

Chrissy said...

You never fail to humor me. This was excellent!!

The mad woman behind the blog said...

OMG, ROFLMAO! This shit doesn't get old!

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