Book of T-Bone: Verse 10, Chapter 2

And so it came to pass that the Trees became the tallest natural creation on Earth. And the Trees stood tall and strong for many Millennia. That is, until God created lightning and Trees started getting zapped and burned to the ground. The Trees tried to kind of bend over and not be so tall any more, but God immediately reprimanded them: “Stand tall and proud, ye Trees of God! Stop slouching!” To which the Trees responded, “But all this lightning! We don’t want to get hit by lightning so much! It stings and burns and stuff!” To which God responded, “Fine, squat like washerwomen taking a dump. I don’t care.” The Trees felt bad (and a little offended) and remained tall and true in the face of lightning and hurricanes and tornados and all the other bad things God threw at them. When the Trees realized that God was mocking them with these trials, they quickly invented lightning rods and attached them to bushes. Hey, free will, right God old pal? God sulked for a week and then got over it. Soon after this squabble, God created platypuses which made him giggle and smile again. Praise to the tall Trees and the Burning Bushes.