Methinks

Is there any other word in the English language that annoys me more than ‘Methinks’? Methinks not. ‘Anywhoo’, ‘Whatnot’, ‘Hinky’, ‘Oprah’ and ‘Theresnomorefudge’ all run a close second, but ‘Methinks’ takes the cake. What is with all of these people running around like Ye Olde English Barons using ‘Methinks’ like they are on their way to a medieval crowning ceremony?

“Methinks my DVR has not recorded Battlestar Galactica for the full amount of time.”
“I would like to go to White Castle and partake in a suitcase of cheeseburgers, methinks.”
“Methinks I have overstayed my welcome at this particular Red Lobster.”

Who are you kidding? You are 42, overweight, and play video games all day. ‘I thinks’ that you are trying to sound more educated than you really are. Knock off all the pseudo-intellectual philosophizing and join us all in the real world. Stop prancing around like you are about to burst into verses of Shakespeare; you are not the fifth duke of Wilkenshire.

Methinks I am getting cranky in my old overweight age.