Friday, April 10, 2009

First Date

A man and a woman meet at a small café in the heart of Manhattan for the first time.

“It is very nice to meet you, Jennifer.”

“I am pleased to meet you as well *consulting a small post-it note* Timborius.”

“Please, call me Timmy.”

“Thank God.”

“I do, every day. He is my strength and my guiding spirit. He provides and keeps me whole. He listens when no one will. He loves me.”

*silence* “Do you like movies?”

“NO! Ah God, NO! Oh my God, you...” Timmy bites off a furious insult as Jennifer sits in stunned silence.

Jennifer starts again. “OK, ah, what’s your favorite—“

“Reverse bicycle helmet.”


“Were you going to ask me what my favorite sexual position is?”

“No, I was going to ask you what your favorite ice cream flavor is. What is ‘Reverse Bicycle Helmet’?”

“I probably shouldn’t say.”


“Rocky Road, to answer your intended question.”

“Are you sure that isn’t just another sexual position?”

*Tim squints and bites his lip*

*Jennifer raises her eyebrows*

“Yes it is.”

“OK, I think this date is over.”

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