Book of Tobias: Verse 9, Chapter 6

And they came to a mountaintop which was full of various types of animal poop and dung. They fell to their knees shouting to the heavens: “GOD! Why hast thou FORSAKEN US!” God spoke to them and said, “Be-eth not such drama queens. It is just a little poop. Wipe it off. Move on.” At this, they stood to their feet and gingerly stepped around the poop to the other side of the clearing to begin their journey back down the mountainside. As they began walking, God taunted them saying, “Beware small twigs, ye prancing ninnies! Look out for yonder clump of dirt, ye twirling sissy-maries! Uh-oh, here comes some tiny raindrops, cover ye heads ye blithering skirt-holding women!” Knoweth this: God is the master of rubbing it in. In his name we pray.