Google Trap

I have had quite a few Google hits from people searching for information on “Clubbed Thumbs” due to this entry I wrote last year: Clubbed Thumbs. Currently, my “Clubbed Thumbs” blog entry is the eleventh result in a Google search on “Clubbed Thumbs”, believe it or not. I was flattered for a minute and then I realized the sad state of affairs for Clubbed Thumbers when my ridiculous post is the eleventh most pertinent web entry on this medical condition. I picture poor people searching Google for legitimate information and help, instead stumbling into this buffoonery. That being said, I want more people getting stuck here while searching for legitimate help (who wouldn’t?). Therefore, I am littering this post with some (hopefully) common Google searches and some other medical conditions besides Clubbed Thumbs making this post an official Google Trap. So, without further ado, here we go (despair, for there is no escape):

MALE PATTERN BALDNESS

ERECTILE DISFUNCTION

CLUBBED FEET

HARELIP HELP AND INFO

PIGEON TOES AND THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE WITH THEM

KELLY CLARKSON

PINKEYE

HEART PALPITATIONS

TATTOO REMOVAL

OCTOMOM

REMOVE WRINKLES FOREVER

PENIS ENLARGEMENT

OPRAH

GROW A FOOT TALLER IN 10 SECONDS

TYRA BANKS

TURF TOE

WART REMOVAL

WART ENHANCEMENT

MAKE GOLD IN YOUR BASEMENT

MONEY TREES AND HOW TO GROW THEM

SEX

Bring them to me, Google. I command you. Bring them to me.